Book summary “Feeding Your Demons”: summary

Introduction

You struggle constantly against inner fears, emotional triggers, and self-defeating habits. Fighting these internal obstacles only makes them stronger, leaving you exhausted and defeated.

Tsultrim Allione presents a revolutionary approach in Feeding Your Demons. She adapts the ancient Tibetan Buddhist Chöd practice created by the female mystic Machig Labdrön into a modern psychological tool.

Fighting your inner fears and obstacles only gives them more strength, whereas nurturing them with compassion transforms them into protective allies.

You learn to stop battling your mind and start feeding what troubles you. The book guides you through specific steps, categories of demons, and applications for daily life.

• How do you locate a demon in your body?
• What happens when you give your fear what it actually needs?
• How can ancient spiritual techniques heal modern psychological trauma?

1. Meeting the Demon

What Are Demons

Demons are not external ghouls. They are internal obsessions, fears, chronic illnesses, and psychological struggles that undermine your best intentions. Fighting against or repressing these disowned parts gives them power and creates resistance.

By addressing them instead of running away, you nurture the shadow parts of yourself so the trapped energy transforms into a positive protective force. In addition to demons representing fears, you also harbor gods of attachment and god-demons characterized by rapid shifts between hope and fear. Gods represent your hopes, obsessions, and what you long for.

When a hope and a fear are closely bound together and you swing between them, it creates a god-demon. You can treat this god-demon using the same feeding approach.

The Dragon-Slaying Myth

For forty-five hundred years, variations of the dragon-slaying hero myth have dominated the Western psyche. This myth of fighting and destroying enemies creates endless polarization, internal struggle, and ecological destruction. Constantly trying to conquer inner demons or external adversaries through force leads to dead ends.

Hercules battling the nine-headed Hydra by cutting off heads only to have two grow back represents the flawed monster-slaying mentality of suppression. This suppression appears in chronic dieting failures and ineffective addiction willpower struggles.

A powerful alternative to violence and combat is to literally or metaphorically feed the opponent, turning an enemy into an ally through civility and mutual respect. Offering hospitality and nurturing rather than fighting disarms opponents and resolves conflicts nonviolently.

Mahatma Gandhi refused his advisers' suggestions to put nails in the road against a threatening British official. He instead invited him to repeated cups of tea and biscuits until he was won over.

Discovering the Practice

The eleventh-century female teacher Machig Labdrön originated Chöd, a meditation practice focused on nurturing inner and outer enemies rather than fighting them. Machig lived from 1055 to 1145 and developed this practice after meditating above a water spirit's pond, transforming her body into an egoless food offering that converted hostile nagas into permanent protectors.

Machig Labdrön rose into the air and flew into a tree above a pond. She remained completely unafraid when a terrifying water spirit and an army of nagas attempted to attack her.

Personal grief and life crises can serve as a catalyst for discovering ancient transformative wisdom and developing modern psychological tools. The author traveled to India and Nepal at age nineteen in 1967 and was ordained as a Buddhist nun in Bodhgaya, India in 1970. She witnessed the Chöd practice in Manali at age twenty-five in 1973.

In 1980, the author gave birth to twins in Rome and suffered the loss of her daughter Chiara. After the sudden death of her infant twins' sister Chiara from SIDS in Rome in 1980, the author spiraled into depression. She traveled to Kathmandu to translate Machig Labdrön's biography with her friend Gyalwa.

The practice of feeding your demons is a simple five-step method that transforms inner conflict into psychological integration.

The method moves from locating the sensation in the body to personifying it, becoming the demon to find its need, dissolving the body into a satisfying nectar, and finally resting in open awareness.

• Find where in the body you hold your demon most strongly.
• Allow the energy that you find in the body to take personified form as a demon right in front of us.
• Discover what the demon needs by putting ourself in the demon's place, becoming the demon.
• Imagine dissolving our own body into nectar of whatever it is that the demon needs, and let this flow to the demon to complete satisfaction.
• Dissolve into emptiness and simply rest in the open awareness that comes from dissolving into emptiness.

The author guided her friend Sara on a bus in Tibet to give form to her lifelong depression and nausea, feeding it until the pain completely disappeared.

2. The Five Steps in Action

The demon-feeding practice utilizes nine relaxation breaths and a structured five-step method to locate bodily sensations, personify them, shift perspectives, feed the root need, and rest in awareness.

Setting the Stage

You need about half an hour in a quiet space where you feel safe and comfortable. Set up two chairs or two cushions opposite each other close enough to touch. Take nine deep abdominal breaths with hands on your stomach.

• Inhale during the first three breaths to release physical tension on the exhalation.
• Inhale with the next three breaths to release emotional tension on the exhalation.
• Inhale during the last three breaths to release mental tension or worries on the exhalation.
• Generate a heartfelt motivation to free yourself and all beings from suffering.

The Five Steps

You begin by identifying what is draining your energy, dragging you down, or eating you. Tune in to your body and scan from head to toe without judgment. Locate where you are holding the energy and intensify or exaggerate the feeling. Explore the physical sensation with closed eyes by asking what color, shape, texture, temperature, sound, and smell it has.

• Ask yourself what is draining your energy, dragging you down, or eating you.
• Tune in to your body and scan from head to toe without judgment.
• Locate where you are holding the energy and intensify or exaggerate the feeling.
• Explore the physical sensation with closed eyes by asking what color, shape, texture, temperature, sound, and smell it has.

You encourage the physical sensation to appear before you as an animate being without editing the image. Make eye contact and notice the expression in the demon's eyes and details like its size, gender, and emotional state. Ask the demon aloud: What do you want from me? Ask the demon aloud: What do you need from me? Ask the demon aloud: How will you feel if you get what you need?

• Encourage the physical sensation to appear before you as an animate being without editing the image.
• Make eye contact and notice the expression in the demon's eyes and details like its size, gender, and emotional state.
• Ask the demon aloud: What do you want from me?
• Ask the demon aloud: What do you need from me?
• Ask the demon aloud: How will you feel if you get what you need?

Frances, a fifty-three-year-old psychotherapist with a frightening funnel-like feeling in her breast, personified her demon as a big, black, wolflike creature with razorlike claws. After she offered her body as a nectar of power and strength, the wolf transformed into a white, blue-eyed husky that became her devoted ally.

You move to the seat in front of you and imagine yourself inside the demon's shoes. Answer the first question aloud in the first person: What I want from you is . . . Answer the second question aloud in the first person: What I need from you is . . . Answer the third question aloud in the first person: When my need is met, I will feel . . .

• Move to the seat in front of you and imagine yourself inside the demon's shoes.
• Answer the first question aloud in the first person: What I want from you is . . .
• Answer the second question aloud in the first person: What I need from you is . . .
• Answer the third question aloud in the first person: When my need is met, I will feel . . .

You return to your original position facing the demon and feel your consciousness separate from your body. Imagine your body dissolving into an infinite supply of nectar embodying the feeling the demon needs. Visualize the demon absorbing the nectar through its mouth, pores, or breathing until it is completely satisfied and changes form. If a figure is present after satiation, invite an ally to appear if needed, and ask it aloud: How will you help me? How will you protect me? What pledge do you make? How can I gain access to you? Change places immediately to become the ally, inhabit its body, and answer the questions aloud in the first person. Return to your original seat, receive the ally's supportive energy, and imagine the ally melting into your body.

• Return to your original position facing the demon and feel your consciousness separate from your body.
• Imagine your body dissolving into an infinite supply of nectar embodying the feeling the demon needs.
• Visualize the demon absorbing the nectar through its mouth, pores, or breathing until it is completely satisfied and changes form.
• If a figure is present after satiation, invite an ally to appear if needed, and ask it aloud: How will you help me? How will you protect me? What pledge do you make? How can I gain access to you?
• Change places immediately to become the ally, inhabit its body, and answer the questions aloud in the first person.
• Return to your original seat, receive the ally's supportive energy, and imagine the ally melting into your body.

You dissolve both yourself and the ally into emptiness after the ally has integrated into you. Rest in the relaxed awareness and immediate sensation present in the space between thoughts. Do not fill the empty space with chatter or force any label upon it, letting yourself simply be at ease.

• Dissolve both yourself and the ally into emptiness after the ally has integrated into you.
• Rest in the relaxed awareness and immediate sensation present in the space between thoughts.
• Do not fill the empty space with chatter or force any label upon it, letting yourself simply be at ease.

3. Tools, Hydras, and Machig's Categories

Journaling, partner practice, and art help navigate resistance and complex tangled hydras, while Machig's four categories classify outer, inner, elation, and egocentricity demons.

Practical Application

Kate suffered from critical parents, a failed marriage, and a self-hate demon telling her she was a loser. She used the five steps to transform her self-loathing into a gray horse ally that pledged to carry her and give her inner strength.

• Find the demon by locating the physical sensation in your body.
• Personify the demon and ask it what it wants, what it needs, and how it will feel if it gets what it needs.
• Become the demon by changing places to experience its perspective and answer the questions.
• Feed the demon by imagining your body melting into an ocean of loving nectar, then meet the ally, receive its pledge, and dissolve together into emptiness.
• Rest in awareness, allowing yourself to relax in the natural spaciousness that follows.

Clarissa, a forty-year-old physical therapist, wrote down her experiences with a demon of insecurity about her appearance and suddenly remembered a photo of her mother as an awkward child, which increased her compassion for her mother and healed their relationship.

• Create a written record of your experience of the five steps in as much detail as possible.
• Jot down insights, associations, memories, and changes in health, behavior, or emotional state.
• Draw an image of the demon and of the ally in a big unlined journal using felt-tipped pens, oil crayons, or colored pencils.
• Answer reflective questions about the demon's physical sensations, appearance, perspective, feeding process, and ally pledges.

When a demon resists and refuses to completely satisfy in the fourth step, imagining in detail how the satisfied demon looks grants full access to the freedom of the fifth step.

• Imagine how the demon would look if it were completely satisfied after being fed.
• Remind yourself that fighting the demon has not worked and try feeding it even just a little bit to release resentment.
• Ask resistant demons "Why are you hanging around, what are you trying to get?"
• Go back to the physical sensation in step one if you cannot see the embodiment clearly.

Partners set up three chairs or cushions for the witness, the active partner, and the demon, ensuring the witness sits perpendicular while maintaining strict confidentiality without even joking about the session.

• Set up three cushions or chairs: one for the witness, one for the active partner, and one for the demon facing each other, with the witness sitting perpendicularly.
• Establish absolute confidentiality guidelines with no exceptions or jokes.
• The witness guides the nine relaxation breaths and altruistic motivation.
• The active partner speaks always in the first person while in character.
• Change places after the process is complete so the active partner becomes the witness.

Hydras and Art

Melissa struggled with obesity and food anxiety for decades. When she fed her demon, it revealed a desire for sex, leading her to uncover repressed childhood sexual abuse and maternal rejection as the immortal head of her hydra.

• Place yourself in the center of a page with your maternal and paternal lineages and related people.
• Fill in demons connected to your hydra next to the appropriate people.
• Draw lines between interconnected demons and record insights in your journal.
• Feed each emerging demon separately using the five-step practice.

Laurel painted her money-anxiety demon as a greedy female figure, used the painting during step three, and later created a clay or painted representation of her ally to hang by her desk.

• Render the visualized demon onto paper or shape it out of clay before stepping into its perspective.
• Hold the artwork facing outward toward your normal seat while answering the three questions as the demon.
• Transform the clay demon directly into the clay ally by molding the same substance during step four.
• Draw a multigenerational demon map placing your name in the center, parents on top, children below, and key relationships around you to link related demons with colored lines.

Machig's Four Demons

Jen suffered from chronic depression even while on a beautiful Caribbean island, demonstrating an inner demon that functions independently of outer circumstances. September 11, 2001 marked the World Trade Center attacks linked to a collective post-traumatic stress demon.

An addiction starts as a god when a substance like cocaine seemingly enhances performance and life, but quickly flips into a demanding demon when it begins frying the nervous system and dictating behavior.

• Identify your greatest hope and greatest fear to recognize the underlying god-demon coin.
• Practice holding situations internally "lightly" regardless of responsibility or outcomes to create psychological space.

4. Demons of Illness and Fear

Physical diseases, eating disorders, and severe phobias or PTSD can be disarmed by transforming somatic symptoms into nourished allies.

Demons of Illness

Conventionally, contagious diseases and health conditions are met with aggressive defenses. In the ancient tradition of Chöd, practitioners visualize their bodies transformed into a nourishing nectar that feeds the outer demons of disease, giving them an alternative food source so they do not need to afflict the person or animal. Mahamudra Chöd asserts that there are 404 kinds of disease and eighty thousand kinds of obstructions prevented by the practice, which involves visiting 108 fearsome places in traditional pilgrimages.

Fred, who was diagnosed with HIV in 1987 and later developed full-blown AIDS, practiced feeding his HIV demon for over two and a half years while participating in a placebo-controlled study. Despite taking no antivirals, his T cells climbed back into the low normal range, moving from his initial 477 count toward the normal range of 800 to 1100.

Diseases that literally consume the flesh can be experienced as invading demons. Anorexia often masks a desperate need for control and safety in an unstable environment, where starving the body serves as a defense against developmental changes and unwanted attention. Eating disorder illnesses carry a 20 percent mortality rate, and the youngest children reported with these conditions are only 5 years old.

Jamie developed severe anorexia, starving herself down to 94 pounds while weighing only 100 pounds after her stepfather commented on her developing body, and she personified her anorexia demon as a cruel witch from Hansel and Gretel. By feeding the witch and embracing her ally, a Greek goddess, she learned to let go of control and accept her body.

Demons of Fear

Fears create avoidance and thrive in hidden places by making you feel that an external threat is attacking you. By giving these fears form, discovering their underlying need, and feeding them, the psychological grip of phobias and social anxiety is dissolved. Specific irrational fears affect 1 in 10 Americans, while agoraphobia affects 3 million Americans and social phobia affects 5 million American adults.

Douglas, a 38-year-old stock trader suffering from severe social phobia and panic attacks inherited from abusive parents, used the demon-feeding practice at Tara Mandala to face his anxiety without resorting to drugs or alcohol.

Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms resulting from severe life-threatening events can be systematically disarmed by confronting and feeding the somatic memory of trauma. Post-traumatic stress disorder affects 5.2 million adult Americans, and nearly one-third of war veterans are affected by PTSD.

Rebecca survived the devastating 2004 tsunami in Sri Lanka and suffered from severe PTSD until she performed the five-step practice, transforming her scaly giant demon into a protective ballerina offering agility and liveliness.

5. Relationships, Addictions, and Abuse

Unconscious demons frequently drive relationship struggles, workaholism, addictions, abuse patterns, and inherited family lineages.

Relationships and Demons

Romantic relationships are primary triggers for unconscious demons and projections. Falling in love lowers ego armor and exposes deep vulnerabilities. As intimacy deepens, unmet wounds and ego-defense demons such as jealousy, control, and fear of abandonment arise. People frequently choose partners with complementary demons, effectively linking demons rather than simply falling in love. Recognizing and feeding these personal demons in therapy or with trusted partners helps detach projections and allows genuine intimacy to emerge.

Carl and Kit seemed like a perfect couple after meeting at a wedding. Carl's protective behavior turned controlling due to his childhood abandonment, while Kit felt stifled due to her chaotic family background. Through couples therapy and separate five-step demon work, they recognized their interlocking demons, relaxed their controls, and built a relaxed intimacy.

Demons of Addiction and Abuse

Addictions are uncontrolled, misguided attempts to feed an inner hungry spirit. Removing the outer substance without healing the inner demon simply shifts the compulsion elsewhere. Zoe used cutting, alcohol, and hard drugs to numb emotional pain and emptiness. She started cutting herself at thirteen years old in response to family troubles and discovered alcohol at fourteen years old to deaden self-hatred and despair.

Workaholism is a socially sanctioned addiction driven by the illusion that endless striving and outer success will eventually provide a payoff of peace and safety. Many modern workaholics spend sixty hours a week working. Sylvia built a successful children's clothing business and worked long hours, neglecting her daughters until one attempted suicide at age fifteen. Through demon work at a retreat, her workaholic demon revealed an underlying need for peace, prompting her to sell most of her stores, stop working weekends, and reconnect with her children.

Abuse demons stem from severe physical, emotional, or sexual trauma and frequently cause victims to dissociate from their bodies. Donna was fifty-eight years old when she worked with her trauma demon. She was beaten by her stepfather and married an abusive man, developing a crystal-encrusted demon named Prickles that made her reject male companionship. By imagining an endless supply of peaceful nectar, she dissolved the crystals and transformed Prickles into a gentle, human male ally.

Family Demons

Demons are frequently inherited across generations through maternal and paternal lineages. Unresolved issues like alcoholism, depression, abuse, control, and perfectionism are passed down from parents and grandparents. Recognizing these lineage demons reduces personal guilt and contextualizes suffering within a broader family web.

Cindy was forty-three years old when she attended the retreat after finishing breast cancer chemotherapy. She struggled with control issues and alcoholism, much like her alcoholic and controlling father. After being diagnosed with breast cancer, she treated her control demon as a manifestation of her father, offered compassion and forgiveness, and experienced physical relief in her clenching jaw alongside sobriety.

Conclusion

Fighting your internal fears, illnesses, and relationship struggles only gives them more energy and keeps you trapped in endless conflict. When you stop struggling against your obstacles and instead turn toward them with fierce compassion, you transform destructive demons into protective allies. This inner shift requires you to step outside old habits of avoidance and meet your pain directly.

You can apply this transformative method to your daily life by following these practical rules:

1. Notice when you feel triggered, anxious, or defensive instead of reacting automatically or distracting yourself.
2. Locate the precise physical sensation in your body and visualize it as a concrete figure with its own shape, color, and mood.
3. Move across from the figure to see yourself through its eyes and understand what it truly feels.
4. Discover what the demon actually needs rather than what it demands, and offer that exact substance as absolute nourishment.
5. Notice who is left when both the demon and your ego dissolve, and rest in that open, spacious awareness.

10 Key Ideas

1. Tsultrim Allione presents Feeding Your Demons as a method to transform internal obsessions, fears, and chronic struggles by nurturing them with compassion rather than fighting them.
2. The Western dragon-slaying myth of fighting and destroying enemies creates endless polarization, whereas offering hospitality to your opponent turns an enemy into an ally.
3. The eleventh-century female teacher Machig Labdrön originated Chöd, a meditation practice focused on nurturing inner and outer enemies rather than fighting them.
4. The demon-feeding practice utilizes nine relaxation breaths and a structured five-step method to locate bodily sensations, personify them, shift perspectives, feed the root need, and rest in awareness.
5. Journaling, partner practice, and art help navigate resistance and complex tangled hydras, while Machig's four categories classify outer, inner, elation, and egocentricity demons.
6. Physical diseases, eating disorders, and severe phobias or PTSD can be disarmed by transforming somatic symptoms into nourished allies.
7. Unconscious demons frequently drive relationship struggles by exposing deep vulnerabilities, unmet wounds, and ego-defense patterns like jealousy and control.
8. Addictions, workaholism, and abuse patterns are uncontrolled, misguided attempts to feed an inner hungry spirit that require healing the root need rather than removing outer triggers.
9. Family demons and unresolved issues like alcoholism, depression, and abuse are frequently inherited across generations through maternal and paternal lineages.
10. Fighting your internal fears, illnesses, and relationship struggles only keeps you trapped, whereas turning toward your pain directly transforms destructive demons into protective allies.