[5157]Nihil prodest quod non laedere posset idem;
Igne quid utilius?———
I say of this as of all other honest recreations, they are like fire, good and bad, and I see no such inconvenience, but that they may so dance, if it be done at due times, and by fit persons: and conclude with Wolfungus [5158]Hider, and most of our modern divines: Si decorae, graves, verecundae, plena luce bonorum virorum et matronarum honestarum, tempestive fiant, probari possunt, et debent. “There is a time to mourn, a time to dance,” Eccles. iii. 4. Let them take their pleasures then, and as [5159] he said of old, “young men and maids flourishing in their age, fair and lovely to behold, well attired, and of comely carriage, dancing a Greek galliard, and as their dance required, kept their time, now turning, now tracing, now apart now altogether, now a courtesy then a caper,” &c., and it was a pleasant sight to see those pretty knots, and swimming figures. The sun and moon (some say) dance about the earth, the three upper planets about the sun as their centre, now stationary, now direct, now retrograde, now in apogee, then in perigee, now swift then slow, occidental, oriental, they turn round, jump and trace, ♂ and ☿ about the sun with those thirty-three Maculae or Bourbonian planet, circa Solem saltantes Cytharedum, saith Fromundus. Four Medicean stars dance about Jupiter, two Austrian about Saturn, &c., and all (belike) to the music of the spheres. Our greatest counsellors, and staid senators, at some times dance, as David before the ark, 2 Sam. vi. 14. Miriam, Exod. xv. 20. Judith, xv. 13. (though the devil hence perhaps hath brought in those bawdy bacchanals), and well may they do it. The greatest soldiers, as [5160] Quintilianus, [5161]Aemilius Probus, [5162]Coelius Rhodiginus, have proved at large, still use it in Greece, Rome, and the most worthy senators, cantare, saltare. Lucian, Macrobius, Libanus, Plutarch, Julius, Pollux, Athenaeus, have written just tracts in commendation of it. In this our age it is in much request in those countries, as in all civil commonwealths, as Alexander ab Alexandro, lib. 4. cap. 10. et lib. 2. cap. 25. hath proved at large, [5163]amongst the barbarians themselves none so precious; all the world allows it.
[5164]Divitias contemno tuas, rex Craese, tuamque
Vendo Asiam, unguentis, flore, mero, choreis.
[5165]Plato, in his Commonwealth, will have dancing-schools to be maintained, “that young folks might meet, be acquainted, see one another, and be seen;” nay more, he would have them dance naked; and scoffs at them that laugh at it. But Eusebius praepar. Evangel. lib. 1. cap. 11. and Theodoret lib. 9. curat. graec. affect. worthily lash him for it; and well they might: for as one saith, [5166]“the very sight of naked parts causeth enormous, exceeding concupiscences, and stirs up both men and women to burning lust.” There is a mean in all things: this is my censure in brief; dancing is a pleasant recreation of body and mind, if sober and modest (such as our Christian dances are); if tempestively used, a furious motive to burning lust; if as by Pagans heretofore, unchastely abused. But I proceed.
Если эти искушения не действуют, ибо Симиер, этот великий мастер ухаживания, не будет вести себя лучше, чтобы более эффективно воздействовать на других и удовлетворить их похоть, они будут клясться и лгать, обещать, заверять, подделывать, притворяться, хвастаться, подкупать, льстить и лицемерить со всех сторон. Это был совет Лукреции у Аретино: Si vis amica frui, promitte, finge, jura, perjura, jacta, simula, mentire; и они хорошо применяют его на практике, как Аполлон к Дафне,
[5168]———mihi Delphica tellus
Et Claros et Tenedos, patareaque regia servit,
Jupiter est genitor———
Delphos, Claros, and Tenedos serve me,
And Jupiter is known my sire to be.
[5169]The poorest swains will do as much, [5170]Mille pecus nivei sunt et mihi vallibus agni; “I have a thousand sheep, good store of cattle, and they are all at her command,”
[5171]———Tibi nos, tibi nostra supellex,
Ruraque servierint———
“house, land, goods, are at her service,” as he is himself. Dinomachus, a senator's son in [5172]Lucian, in love with a wench inferior to him in birth and fortunes, the sooner to accomplish his desire, wept unto her, and swore he loved her with all his heart, and her alone, and that as soon as ever his father died (a very rich man and almost decrepit) he would make her his wife. The maid by chance made her mother acquainted with the business, who being an old fox, well experienced in such matters, told her daughter, now ready to yield to his desire, that he meant nothing less, for dost thou think he will ever care for thee, being a poor wench, [5173]that may have his choice of all the beauties in the city, one noble by birth, with so many talents, as young, better qualified, and fairer than thyself? daughter believe him not: the maid was abashed, and so the matter broke off. When Jupiter wooed Juno first (Lilius Giraldus relates it out of an old comment on Theocritus) the better to effect his suit, he turned himself into a cuckoo, and spying her one day walking alone, separated from the other goddesses, caused a tempest suddenly to arise, for fear of which she fled to shelter; Jupiter to avoid the storm likewise flew into her lap, in virginis Junonis gremium devolavit, whom Juno for pity covered in her [5174]apron. But he turned himself forthwith into his own shape, began to embrace and offer violence unto her, sed illa matris metu abnuebat, but she by no means would yield, donec pollicitus connubium obtinuit, till he vowed and swore to marry her, and then she gave consent. This fact was done at Thornax hill, which ever after was called Cuckoo hill, and in perpetual remembrance there was a temple erected to Telia Juno in the same place. So powerful are fair promises, vows, oaths and protestations. It is an ordinary thing too in this case to belie their age, which widows usually do, that mean to marry again, and bachelors too sometimes,
[5175]Cujus octavum trepidavit aetas,
cernere lustrum;
to say they are younger than they are. Carmides in the said Lucian loved Philematium, an old maid of forty-five years; [5176]she swore to him she was but thirty-two next December. But to dissemble in this kind, is familiar of all sides, and often it takes. [5177]Fallere credentem res est operosa puellam, 'tis soon done, no such great mastery, Egregiam vero laudem, et spolia ampla,—and nothing so frequent as to belie their estates, to prefer their suits, and to advance themselves. Many men to fetch over a young woman, widows, or whom they love, will not stick to crack, forge and feign any thing comes next, bid his boy fetch his cloak, rapier, gloves, jewels, &c. in such a chest, scarlet-golden-tissue breeches, &c. when there is no such matter; or make any scruple to give out, as he did in Petronius, that he was master of a ship, kept so many servants, and to personate their part the better take upon them to be gentlemen of good houses, well descended and allied, hire apparel at brokers, some scavenger or prick-louse tailors to attend upon them for the time, swear they have great possessions, [5178]bribe, lie, cog, and foist how dearly they love, how bravely they will maintain her, like any lady, countess, duchess, or queen; they shall have gowns, tiers, jewels, coaches, and caroches, choice diet,
The heads of parrots, tongues of nightingales,
The brains of peacocks, and of ostriches,
Their bath shall be the juice of gilliflowers,
Spirit of roses and of violets,
The milk of unicorns, &c.
as old Volpone courted Celia in the [5179]comedy, when as they are no such men, not worth a groat, but mere sharkers, to make a fortune, to get their desire, or else pretend love to spend their idle hours, to be more welcome, and for better entertainment. The conclusion is, they mean nothing less,
[5180]Nil metuunt jurare, nihil promittere curant:
Sed simul accupidae mentis satiata libido est,
Dicta nihil metuere, nihil perjuria curant;
Oaths, vows, promises, are much protested;
But when their mind and lust is satisfied,
Oaths, vows, promises, are quite neglected;
though he solemnly swear by the genius of Caesar, by Venus' shrine, Hymen's deity, by Jupiter, and all the other gods, give no credit to his words. For when lovers swear, Venus laughs, Venus haec perjuria ridet, [5181]Jupiter himself smiles, and pardons it withal, as grave [5182]Plato gives out; of all perjury, that alone for love matters is forgiven by the gods. If promises, lies, oaths, and protestations will not avail, they fall to bribes, tokens, gifts, and such like feats. [5183]Plurimus auro conciliatur amor: as Jupiter corrupted Danae with a golden shower, and Liber Ariadne with a lovely crown, (which was afterwards translated into the heavens, and there for ever shines;) they will rain chickens, florins, crowns, angels, all manner of coins and stamps in her lap. And so must he certainly do that will speed, make many feasts, banquets, invitations, send her some present or other every foot. Summo studio parentur epulae (saith [5184]Haedus) et crebrae fiant largitiones, he must be very bountiful and liberal, seek and sue, not to her only, but to all her followers, friends, familiars, fiddlers, panders, parasites, and household servants; he must insinuate himself, and surely will, to all, of all sorts, messengers, porters, carriers; no man must be unrewarded, or unrespected. I had a suitor (saith [5185]Aretine's Lucretia) that when he came to my house, flung gold and silver about, as if it had been chaff. Another suitor I had was a very choleric fellow; but I so handled him, that for all his fuming, I brought him upon his knees. If there had been an excellent bit in the market, any novelty, fish, fruit, or fowl, muscatel, or malmsey, or a cup of neat wine in all the city, it was presented presently to me; though never so dear, hard to come by, yet I had it: the poor fellow was so fond at last, that I think if I would I might have had one of his eyes out of his head. A third suitor was a merchant of Rome, and his manner of wooing was with [5186]exquisite music, costly banquets, poems, &c. I held him off till at length he protested, promised, and swore pro virginitate regno me donaturum, I should have all he had, house, goods, and lauds, pro concubitu solo; [5187]neither was there ever any conjuror, I think, to charm his spirits that used such attention, or mighty words, as he did exquisite phrases, or general of any army so many stratagems to win a city, as he did tricks and devices to get the love of me. Thus men are active and passive, and women not far behind them in this kind: Audax ad omnia foemina, quae vel amat, vel odit.
[5188]For half so boldly there can non
Swear and lye as women can.
[5189]They will crack, counterfeit, and collogue as well as the best, with handkerchiefs, and wrought nightcaps, purses, posies, and such toys: as he justly complained,
[5190]Cur mittis violas? nempe ut violentius uret;
Quid violas violis me violenta tuis? &c.
Why dost thou send me violets, my dear?
To make me burn more violent, I fear,
With violets too violent thou art,
To violate and wound my gentle heart.
When nothing else will serve, the last refuge is their tears. Haec scripsi (testor amorem) mixta lachrymis et suspiriis, 'twixt tears and sighs, I write this (I take love to witness), saith [5191]Chelidonia to Philonius. Lumina quae modo fulmina, jam flumina lachrymarum, those burning torches are now turned to floods of tears. Aretine's Lucretia, when her sweetheart came to town, [5192]wept in his bosom, “that he might be persuaded those tears were shed for joy of his return.” Quartilla in Petronius, when nought would move, fell a weeping, and as Balthazar Castilio paints them out, [5193]“To these crocodile's tears they will add sobs, fiery sighs, and sorrowful countenance, pale colour, leanness, and if you do but stir abroad, these fiends are ready to meet you at every turn, with such a sluttish neglected habit, dejected look, as if they were now ready to die for your sake; and how, saith he, shall a young novice thus beset, escape?” But believe them not.
[5194]———animam ne crede puellis,
Namque est foeminea tutior unda fide.
Thou thinkest, peradventure, because of her vows, tears, smiles, and protestations, she is solely thine, thou hast her heart, hand, and affection, when as indeed there is no such matter, as the [5195]Spanish bawd said, gaudet illa habere unum in lecto, alterum in porta, tertium qui domi suspiret, she will have one sweetheart in bed, another in the gate, a third sighing at home, a fourth, &c. Every young man she sees and likes hath as much interest, and shall as soon enjoy her as thyself. On the other side, which I have said, men are as false, let them swear, protest, and lie; [5196]Quod vobis dicunt, dixerunt mille puellis. They love some of them those eleven thousand virgins at once, and make them believe, each particular, he is besotted on her, or love one till they see another, and then her alone; like Milo's wife in Apuleius, lib. 2. Si quem conspexerit speciosae formae invenem, venustate ejus sumitur, et in eum animum intorquet. 'Tis their common compliment in that case, they care not what they swear, say or do: One while they slight them, care not for them, rail downright and scoff at them, and then again they will run mad, hang themselves, stab and kill, if they may not enjoy them. Henceforth, therefore,—nulla viro juranti foemina credat, let not maids believe them. These tricks and counterfeit passions are more familiar with women, [5197]finem hic dolori faciet aut vitae dies, miserere amantis, quoth Phaedra to Hippolitus. Joessa, in [5198]Lucian, told Pythias, a young man, to move him the more, that if he would not have her, she was resolved to make away herself. “There is a Nemesis, and it cannot choose but grieve and trouble thee, to hear that I have either strangled or drowned myself for thy sake.” Nothing so common to this sex as oaths, vows, and protestations, and as I have already said, tears, which they have at command; for they can so weep, that one would think their very hearts were dissolved within them, and would come out in tears; their eyes are like rocks, which still drop water, diariae lachrymae et sudoris in modum lurgeri promptae, saith [5199] Aristaenetus, they wipe away their tears like sweat, weep with one eye, laugh with the other; or as children [5200]weep and cry, they can both together.
[5201]Neve puellarum lachrymis moveare memento,
Ut flerent oculos erudiere suos.
Care not for women's tears, I counsel thee,
They teach their eyes as much to weep as see.
And as much pity is to be taken of a woman weeping, as of a goose going barefoot. When Venus lost her son Cupid, she sent a crier about, to bid every one that met him take heed.
[5202]Si fleatam aspicias, ne mox fallare, caveto;
Sin arridebit, magis effuge; et oscula si fors
Ferre volet, fugito; sunt oscula noxia, in ipsis
Suntque venena labris &c.
Take heed of Cupid's tears, if cautious.
And of his smiles and kisses I thee tell,
If that he offer't, for they be noxious,
And very poison in his lips doth dwell.
[5203]A thousand years, as Castilio conceives, “will scarce serve to reckon up those allurements and guiles, that men and women use to deceive one another with.”
ПОДРАЗД. V. — Сводни, приворотные зелья, причины.
Когда все другие двигатели отказывают, что они не могут продвинуться дальше сами по себе, их последнее прибежище — бежать к сводням, сутенерам, магическим приворотным зельям и рецептам; скорее, чем потерпеть неудачу, к самому дьяволу. Flectere si nequeunt superos, Acheronta movebunt. И этими косвенными средствами многие люди бывают покорены и низвергнуты в эту болезнь, если не будут хорошо остерегаться. Ибо эти сводни, во-первых, они повсюду так обычны и их так много, что, как говорили в древнем Кротоне, omnes hic aut captantur, aut captant, либо соблазняют, либо бывают соблазнены, мы можем сказать о большинстве наших городов, что в них так много профессиональных, хитрых своден. Кроме того, сводничество стало искусством, или свободной наукой, как называет его Лукиан; и есть такие трюки и тонкости, так много нянек, старух, сутенеров, почтальонов, нищих, врачей, монахов, исповедников, занятых этим, что nullus tradere stilus sufficiat, говорит один,
[5205]———trecentis versibus
Suas impuritias traloqui nemo potest.
Such occult notes, stenography, polygraphy, Nuntius animatus, or magnetical telling of their minds, which [5206]Cabeus the Jesuit, by the way, counts fabulous and false; cunning conveyances in this kind, that neither Juno's jealousy, nor Danae's custody, nor Argo's vigilancy can keep them safe. 'Tis the last and common refuge to use an assistant, such as that Catanean Philippa was to Joan Queen of Naples, a [5207]bawd's help, an old woman in the business, as [5208]Myrrha did when she doted on Cyniras, and could not compass her desire, the old jade her nurse was ready at a pinch, dic inquit, opemque me sine ferre tibi—et in hac mea (pone timorem) Sedulitas erit apta libi, fear it not, if it be possible to be done, I will effect it: non est mulieri mulier insuperabilis, [5209]Caelestina said, let him or her be never so honest, watched and reserved, 'tis hard but one of these old women will get access: and scarce shall you find, as [5210]Austin observes, in a nunnery a maid alone, “if she cannot have egress, before her window you shall have an old woman, or some prating gossip, tell her some tales of this clerk, and that monk, describing or commending some young gentleman or other unto her.” “As I was walking in the street” (saith a good fellow in Petronius) “to see the town served one evening, [5211]I spied an old woman in a corner selling of cabbages and roots” (as our hucksters do plums, apples, and such like fruits); “mother” (quoth he) “can you tell where I can dwell? she, being well pleased with my foolish urbanity, replied, and why, sir, should I not tell? With that she rose up and went before me. I took her for a wise woman, and by-and-by she led me into a by-lane, and told me there I should dwell. I replied again, I knew not the house; but I perceived, on a sudden, by the naked queans, that I was now come into a bawdy-house, and then too late I began to curse the treachery of this old jade.” Such tricks you shall have in many places, and amongst the rest it is ordinary in Venice, and in the island of Zante, for a man to be bawd to his own wife. No sooner shall you land or come on shore, but, as the Comical Poet hath it,