Весь путь шел сильный дождь. Мы видели несколько морских свиней, перекатывающихся в погоне за добычей; и одна, в частности, подошла так близко к берегу, что мы подумали, что она должна остаться там; но она обманула наши ожидания и выбралась снова.
Около семи часов, когда наши больные пассажиры выздоровели, мы весело поплыли и пели «Святого Иоанна», «Пишокен» и несколько других песен и мелодий сами, а наш рулевой развлекал нас несколькими матросскими песнями; но наши ноты вскоре изменились, когда наше судно наткнулось и застряло в песках Блай, хотя мы были почти посреди канала. Это был отлив, и до прилива оставался примерно час, что вызвало у нас некоторое беспокойство, полагая, что мы будем вынуждены оставаться там некоторое время и терпеть удары ветра и волн; тем не менее, благодаря усердию наших моряков и умелой помощи Тоталла, мы вскоре выбрались снова (хотя и с некоторым трудом); и ветер оказался благоприятным, мы благополучно прибыли в Грейвсенд около десяти.
Мы поужинали, выпили хорошего вина и думали, что наши приключения и необычайное веселье закончились, но обнаружили обратное: сюртук, который Скотт одолжил для этого путешествия и оставил в Грейвсенде, и путешествовал без него, мы обнаружили по прибытии сюда, что его нельзя найти. Это, хотя и было горем для него, было забавой для нас; и он вскоре преодолел свое беспокойство и стал таким же веселым, как мы. Так мы продолжали до довольно позднего времени, а затем легли спать.
В среду, в восемь часов, мы встали, позавтракали и погуляли по городу. В десять сели в лодку, которую наняли, с тюком чистой соломы, бутылкой хорошего вина, трубками, табаком и спичками. Ветер был благоприятным с юго-востока и дул свежий бриз. Наш переход был очень приятным для всех, пока мы не вошли в Эриф-Рич, когда Скотт, будучи без своего сюртука (по вышеуказанной причине), делая зарисовку нескольких судов, порыв ветра заставил наше судно зачерпнуть воду, которая окатила его с головы до ног, и никого больше. Он, сильно удивленный, встал и, вытащив переднюю полу своей рубашки из брюк (которые также были хорошо пропитаны соленой водой), держал ее обеими руками против ветра; а солнце светило тепло, он вскоре высох; и, оправившись от удивления, присоединился к нам, смеясь над происшествием.
Мы весело поднялись по реке; и, покинув нашу лодку в Биллингсгейте, сели в лодку, которая доставила нас через мост, и высадились у Сомерсет-Уотер-гейт; откуда мы все вместе пошли и прибыли около двух часов в «Бедфорд Армс», Ковент-Гарден, в том же хорошем настроении, в котором мы покинули его, чтобы отправиться в эту очень приятную экспедицию.
Я думаю, что не могу лучше закончить, чем заметив, что ни один из компании не остался без дела; ибо мистер Торнхилл сделал карту, мистер Хогарт и мистер Скотт — рисунки, мистер Тотал был нашим казначеем, что (хотя и является должностью величайшего доверия) он добросовестно исполнял; а вышеприведенные мемуары были работой
Э. Форреста.
Достоверность этой рукописи подтверждается нами,
Уильям Хогарт. Сэмюэл Скотт.
Уильям Тотал. Джон Торнхилл.
Лондон, 27 мая 1732 г. Отчет о расходах для господ Хогарта и Ко., а именно:
£. s. d.
To paid at the Dark-house, Billingsgate 0 0 8 1⁄2
To paid for a pint of Geneva Hollands 0 1 0
To paid waterman to Gravesend 0 5 0
To paid barber ditto 0 0 10
To paid for breakfast at ditto 0 2 2
To paid for beer on the road to Rochester 0 0 9
To paid for shrimps at Chatham 0 0 9
To paid at the gunnery and dock 0 1 6
To paid bill at Rochester 1 7 3
28. To gave at Upnor for information 0 0 3
To paid at the Smack at ditto 0 4 3
To paid at Hoo 0 1 8
To paid at Stoke 0 11 6
29. To paid at Mother Hubbard’s at Grain 0 3 0
To paid for passage over to Sheerness 0 2 10
To paid for lobsters at Queenborough 0 1 6
To paid for two pots of beer to treat the sexton 0 0 6
To paid for dinner, &c. 0 6 6
To charity gave the sailors 0 1 0
30. To paid for lodgings and maid 0 4 6
To paid for breakfast 0 2 6
To paid for washing shirts 0 1 8
To paid at Minster 0 9 2
To paid at Sheerness 0 1 3
To paid for a boat to Gravesend 0 7 0
31. To paid barber at ditto 0 1 2
To paid for sundry at ditto 1 0 3 1⁄2
To paid for passage to Somerset House 0 5 6
£ 6 6 0
Ваучеры представлены, проверены и приняты,
От Э. Форреста. От Уильяма Хогарта.
Сэмюэл Скотт. Джон Торнхилл.
Версия преподобного мистера Гостлинга носила то же название и девиз, что и прозаическое «Путешествие», с этим дополнением: «Имитировано в гудибрастических стихах одним, хорошо знакомым с некоторыми из путешественников и местами, здесь прославленными, с допущением некоторых дополнений». Она прилагается; а именно:
ОТЧЕТ МИСТЕРА ГОСТЛИНГА О ПУТЕШЕСТВИИ ХОГАРТА.
’Twas first of morn on Saturday,
The seven-and-twentieth day of May,
When Hogarth, Thornhill, Tothall, Scott,
And Forrest, who this journal wrote,
From Covent-Garden took departure,
To see the world by land and water.
Our march we with a song begin;
Our hearts were light, our breeches thin.
We meet with nothing of adventure
Till Billingsgate’s Dark-house we enter.
Where we diverted were, while baiting,
With ribaldry, not worth relating
(Quite suited to the dirty place)
But what most pleas’d us was his Grace
Of Puddle Dock, a porter grim,
Whose portrait Hogarth, in a whim,
Presented him in caricature,
He pasted on the cellar door.[347]
But hark! the Watchman cries “Past one!”
’Tis time that we on board were gone.
Clean straw we find laid for our bed,
A tilt for shelter over head.
The boat is soon got under sail,
Wind near S. E. a mack’rel gale,
Attended by a heavy rain;
We try to sleep, but try in vain,
So sing a song, and then begin
To feast on biscuit, beef, and gin.
At Purfleet find three men of war,
The Dursley galley, Gibraltar,
And Tartar pink, and of this last
The pilot begg’d of us a cast
To Gravesend, which he greatly wanted,
And readily by us was granted.
The grateful man, to make amends,
Told how the officers and friends
Of England were by Spaniards treated,
And shameful instances repeated.
While he these insults was deploring,
Hogarth, like Premier, fell to snoring,
But waking cry’d, “I dream’d”—and then
Fell fast asleep, and snor’d again.
The morn clear’d up, and after five
At port of Gravesend we arrive,
But found it hard to get on shore,
His boat a young son of a whore
Had fix’d just at our landing-place,
And swore we should not o’er it pass;
But, spite of all the rascal’s tricks,
We made a shift to land by six,
And up to Mrs. Bramble’s go
[A house that we shall better know],
There get a barber for our wigs,
Wash hands and faces, stretch our legs,
Had toast and butter, and a pot
Of coffee (our third breakfast) got:
Then, paying what we had to pay,
For Rochester we took our way,
Viewing the new church as we went,
And th’ unknown person’s monument.
The beauteous prospects found us talk,
And shorten’d much our two hours walk,
Though by the way we did not fail
To stop and take three pots of ale,
And this enabled us by ten
At Rochester to drink again.
Now, Muse, assist, while I declare
(Like a true English traveller)
What vast variety we survey
In the short compass of one day.
We scarce had lost the sight of Thames,
When the fair Medway’s winding streams,
And far-extending Rochester,
Before our longing eyes appear:
The Castle and Cathedral grace
One prospect, so we mend our pace;
Impatient for a nearer view,
But first must Strood’s rough street trudge through,
And this our feet no short one find;
However, with a cheerful mind,
All difficulties we get o’er,
And soon are on the Medway’s shore.
New objects here before us rise,
And more than satisfy our eyes.
The stately Bridge from side to side,
The roaring cataracts of the tide,
Deafen our ears, and charm our sight,
And terrify while they delight.
These we pass over to the Town,
And take our Quarters at The Crown,
To which the Castle is so near,
That we all in a hurry were
The grand remains on’t to be viewing;
It is indeed a noble ruin,
Must have been very strong, but length
Of time has much impair’d its strength:
The lofty Tower as high or higher
Seems than the old Cathedral’s spire;
Yet we determin’d were to gain
Its top, which cost some care and pain;
When there arriv’d, we found a well,
The depth of which I cannot tell;
Small holes cut in on every side
Some hold for hands and feet provide,
By which a little boy we saw
Go down, and bring up a jack-daw.
All round about us then we gaze,
Observing, not without amaze,
How towns here undistinguish’d join,
And one vast One to form combine.
Chatham with Rochester seems but one,
Unless we’re shewn the boundary stone,
That and its yards contiguous lie
To pleasant Brompton standing high;
The Bridge across the raging flood
Which Rochester divides from Strood,
Extensive Strood, on t’other side,
To Frindsbury quite close ally’d,
The country round, and river fair,
Our prospects made beyond compare,
Which quite in raptures we admire;
Then down to face of earth retire.
Up the Street walking, first of all
We take a view of the Town-Hall.
Proceeding farther on, we spy
A house, design’d to catch the eye,
With front so rich, by plastick skill,
As made us for a while stand still:
Four huge Hobgoblins grace the wall,
Which we four Bas Relievo’s call;
They the four Seasons represent,
At least were form’d for that intent.
Then Watts’s Hospital we see
(No common curiosity);
Endow’d (as on the front appears)
In favour of poor travellers;
Six such it every night receives,
Supper and lodging gratis gives,
And to each man next morn does pay
A groat, to keep him on his way:
But the contagiously infected,
And rogues and proctors, are rejected.
It gave us too some entertainment
To find out what this bounteous man meant,
Yet were we not so highly feasted.
But that we back to dinner hasted.
By twelve again we reach The Crown,
But find our meat not yet laid down,
So (spite of “Gentlemen, d’ye call?”)
On chairs quite fast asleep we fall,
And with clos’d eyes again survey
In dreams what we have seen to-day;
Till dinner’s coming up, when we
As ready are as that can be.
If we describe it not, we’re undone,
You’ll scarce believe we came from London,
With due attention then prepare
Yourself to hear our bill of fare
For our first course a dish there was
Of soles and flounders with crab-sauce,
A stuff’d and roast calf’s-heart beside,
With ’purt’nance minc’d, and liver fry’d;
And for a second course, they put on
Green pease and roasted leg of mutton.
The cook was much commended for’t;
Fresh was the beer, and sound the port;
So that nem. con. we all agree
(Whatever more we have to see)
From table we’ll not rise till three.
Our shoes are clean’d, ’tis three o’clock,
Come let’s away to Chatham-Dock;
We shan’t get there till almost four,
To see’t will take at least an hour;
Yet Scott and Hogarth needs must stop
At the Court-Hall to play Scotch hop.
To Chatham got, ourselves we treat
With Shrimps, which as we walk we eat,
For speed we take a round-about-
way, as we afterwards found out:
At length reach the King’s yards and docks
Admire the ships there on the stocks,
The men of war afloat we view,
Find means to get aboard of two;[348]
But here I must not be prolix,
For we went home again at six,
There smoak’d our pipes, and drank our wine,
And comfortably sat till nine,
Then, with our travels much improv’d,
To our respective beds we mov’d.
Sunday at seven we rub our eyes,
But are too lazy yet to rise,
Hogarth and Thornhill tell their dreams,
And, reasoning deeply on those themes,
After much learned speculation,
Quite suitable to the occasion,
Left off as wise as they begun,
Which made for us in bed good fun.
But by and by, when up we got,
Sam Scott was missing, “Where’s Sam Scott?”
“Oh! here he comes. Well! whence come you?”
“Why from the bridge, taking a view
Of something that did highly please me,
But people passing by would teaze me
With ‘Do you work on Sundays, friend?’
So that I could not make an end.”
At this we laugh’d, for ’twas our will
Like men of taste that day to kill.
So after breakfast we thought good
To cross the bridge again to Strood:
Thence eastward we resolve to go,
And through the Hundred march of Hoo,
Wash’d on the north side by the Thames,
And on the south by Medway’s streams,
Which to each other here incline,
Till at the Nore in one they join.
Before we Frindsbury could gain,
There fell a heavy shower of rain,
When crafty Scott a shelter found
Under a hedge upon the ground,
There of his friends a joke he made,
But rose most woefully bewray’d;
How against him the laugh was turn’d,
And he the vile disaster mourn’d!
We work, all hands, to make him clean,
And fitter to be fitly seen.
But, while we scrap’d his back and side,
All on a sudden, out he cried,
“I’ve lost my cambrick handkercher,
’Twas lent me by my wife so dear:
What I shall do I can’t devise,
I’ve nothing left to wipe my eyes.”
At last the handkerchief was found,
To his great comfort, safe and sound,
He’s now recover’d and alive;
So in high spirits all arrive
At Frindsbury, fatn’d for prospects fair,
But we much more diverted were
With what the parish church did grace,
“A list of some who lov’d the place,
In memory of their good actions,
And gratitude for their benefactions.
Witnes our hands—Will. Gibbons, Vicar—”
And no one else.—This made us snicker:
At length, with countenances serious,
We all agreed it was mysterious,
Not guessing that the reason might
Be, the Churchwardens could not write.
At ten, in council it was mov’d.
Whoe’er was tir’d, or disapprov’d
Of our proceedings, might go back,
And cash to bear his charges take.
With indignation this was heard.
Each was for all events prepar’d.
So all with one consent agreed
To Upnor-Castle to proceed,
And at the sutler’s there we din’d
On such coarse fare as we could find.
The Castle was not large, but strong,
And seems to be of standing long.
Twenty-four men its garrison,
And just for every man a gun;
Eight guns were mounted, eight men active,
The rest were rated non-effective.
Here an old couple, who had brought
Some cockles in their boat, besought
That one of us would buy a few,
For they were very fresh and new.
I did so, and ’twas charity;
He was quite blind, and half blind she.
Now growing frolicksome and gay,
Like boys, we after dinner play,
But, as the scene lay in a fort,
Something like war must be our sport:
Sticks, stones, and hogs-dung were our weapons,
And, as in such frays oft it happens,
Poor Tothall’s cloaths here went to pot,
So that he could not laugh at Scott.
From hence all conquerors we go
To visit the church-yard at Hoo.
At Hoo we found an Epitaph,
Which made us (as ’twill make you) laugh:
A servant maid, turn’d poetaster,
Wrote it in honour of her master;
I therefore give you (and I hope you
Will like it well) a Vera Copia:
“And . wHen . he . Died . You plainly . see
Hee . freely . gave . al . to . Sara . passaWee.
And . in . Doing . so . it DoTh . prevail .
that . Ion . him . can . well . bes . Tow . this Rayel .
On . Year . I sarved . him . it is well . none .
BuT Thanks . beto . God . it . is . all my . One.”
*****
Long at one place we must not stay,
’Tis almost four, let’s haste away.
But here’s a sign; ’tis rash, we think,
To leave the place before we drink.
We meet with liquor to our mind,
Our hostess complaisant and kind:
She was a widow, who, we found,
Had (as the phrase is) been shod round,
That is, had buried husbands four,
And had no want of charms for more;
Yet her we leave, and, as we go,
Scott bravely undertook to show
That through the world we could not pass,
How thin soe’er our breeches was;
“’Tis true, indeed, we may go round,
But through”—then pointed to the ground.
So well he manag’d the debate,
We own’d he was a man of weight:
And so indeed he was this once,
His pockets we had fill’d with stones.
But here we’d serv’d ourselves a trick,
Of which he might have made us sick;
We’d furnish’d him with ammunition
Fit to knock down all opposition;
And, knowing well his warmth of temper,
Out of his reach began to scamper,
Till, growing cooler, he pretends
His passion feign’d, so all are friends.
Our danger now becomes a joke,
And peaceably we go to Stoke.
About the church we nothing can see
To strike or entertain our fancy:
But near a farm, or an elm tree,
A long pole fix’d upright we see,
And tow’rd the top of it was plac’d
A weathercock, quite in high taste,
Which all of us, ere we go further,
Pronounce of the Composite order.
First, on a board turn’d by the wind,
A painter had a cock design’d,
A common weathercock was above it,
This turn’d too as the wind did move it;
Then on the spindle’s point so small
A shuttlecock stuck o’ertopp’d them all.
This triple alliance gave occasion
To much improving speculation.
Alas! we ne’er know when we are well,
So at Northfleet again must quarrel;
But fought not here with sticks and stones
(For those, you know, might break our bones)
A well just by, full to the brim,
Did fitter for our purpose seem;
So furiously we went to dashing,
Till our coats wanted no more washing;
But this our heat and courage cooling,
’Twas soon high time to leave such fooling.
To The Nag’s Head we therefore hie,
To drink, and to be turn’d adry.
At six, while supper was preparing,
And we about the marsh-lands staring,
Our two game cocks, Tothall and Scott,
To battling once again were got:
But here no weapons could they find,
Save what the cows dropp’d from behind;
With these they pelted, till we fancy
Their cloaths look’d something like a tansy.
At seven we all come home again,
Tothall and Scott their garments clean;
Supper we get, and, when that’s o’er,
A tiff of punch drink at the door;
Then, as the beds were only three,
Draw cuts who shall so lucky be
As here to sleep without a chum;
To Tothall’s share the prize did come;
Hogarth and Thornhill, Scott and I,
In pairs, like man and wife, must lie.
Then mighty frolicksome they grow,
At Scott and me the stocking throw,
Fight with their wigs, in which perhaps
They sleep, for here we found no caps.
Up at eleven again we get,
Our sheets were so confounded wet;
We dress, and lie down in our cloaths;
Monday, at three, awak’d and rose.
And of the cursed gnats complain,
Yet make a shift to sleep again.
Till six o’clock we quiet lay,
And then got out for the whole day;
To fetch a barber out we send;
Stripp’d, and in boots, he does attend,
For he’s a fisherman by trade;
Tann’d was his face, shock was his head;
He flowers our wigs and trims our faces,
And the top barber of the place is.
The cloth is for our breakfast spread,
A bowl of milk and toasted bread